New here and in need of support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism ...

Hello. I am posting this because I don't know where else to turn. Apologies for this being so long.

My husband of 12 years has a drink problem but he is probably what you would call a "functioning alcoholic" because he holds down a job and tends to binge drink rather than drink whisky for breakfast if you know what I mean.

Last June, after a particularly awful time at a family wedding, where he got totally wasted and was rude to everyone, I asked him to move out. I stayed in our house with our 3 kids. He moved into his parents and said he would seek help. His parents and his sisters do not think he has a problem and think that I am unloving because I am not supporting him. They think the problem is really that I am just very demanding and mentally unstable.

Nevertheless, my husband did start seeing an alcohol counsellor and stopped drinking. He even attended the odd AA meeting. Meanwhile, my father-in-law insisted on meeting up with my father and basically made veiled threats that if I were to divorce his son then I would be left financially destitute. Also, my husband's sisters stopped talking to me, even though we live near each other and our kids go to school together.

I don't live very near my family and one of my brother's is being treated for cancer so I don't really want to burden them. They have been very supportive though and they know there is a problem.

At the end of August, I allowed my husband to move back in on the basis that he not drink and this was his last chance. Initially he slept in the spare room. Slowly, slowly trust was rebuilt and everything went back to normal.

Then around the beginning of November he announced he was going to start drinking again. I was just being "controlling" by wanting him to stop and he could manage it. I made it plain how upset I was but he continued anyway.

Initially, his drinking was fine. Then he started having a bottle of night on his own, his nights out "marketing" increased and then on New Year's Eve he got so drunk he was slurring his words so much everyone laughed at him.

Twice since Nov I warned him that he needed to keep an eye on his drinking because it was getting out of hand. His counsellor also told him he was worried about him because his job is on the line and he deals with stress by drinking.

Then, on Thursday night he went out and got smashed. He came back around 4am by taxi (over 40 miles) because he had missed his train. He was crashing around and started snoring so loudly that I went into the spare room. A little while later I heard a noise and woke up to find him urinating on the floor in the bedroom where I was sleeping. He doesn't remember anything about it. He phoned in "sick" to work the next day and didn't get out of bed until 5pm.

I have told him it is over and that we need to start sorting out practicalities eg put the house on the market to sell. He keeps trying to ask me for one more chance and because I am standing firm he is just refusing to discuss anything with me.

I am finding the tension exhausting and I am worried I will not be able to stay strong. I feel my resolve weakening already and asking myself if I am doing the right thing.

Source: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/248002-new-here-need-support.html

gumby derrick mason derrick mason lamichael james lamichael james harrisburg pa chynna phillips